you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We named our party play list daddy issues
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
