Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
4 words: hood of his car
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
