I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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