Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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