Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
