Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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