dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
