SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
