then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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