i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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