Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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