sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
