Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
