I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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