oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize