Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
