he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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