I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
