brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want nice things and good sex
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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