But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize