A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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