I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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