Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
