I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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