I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
