If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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