I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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