and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
