sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just had sex bonerless
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
