and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize