i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
