you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
