I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How external is "for external use only"?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
