Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just blew my weed a kiss
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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