just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
