this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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