so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
