spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
