Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize