do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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