Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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