I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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