Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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