So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
