nut hugger
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
