some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
