it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
