My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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