I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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