Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
