I think I am morally bankrupt
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
