Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Houston, we have a blender
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
