I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
