Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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