we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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