I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
