at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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