I CAN MOONWALK!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize