butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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