after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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