I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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