i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize