a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
