She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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